::Life update: I have recently moved from Auburn to Birmingham to complete my internship so that I can graduate in December. In case you’re curious, and I’m almost positive you aren’t, I’m interning with Rick and Bubba which is a popular radio show in the southeastern US.::
Now on to what I actually meant to post about.
I don’t know if I’ve made this clear in other posts, but I’m a Christian. Now, many of you may tune out at this point and I can’t say I blame you. Many of those who profess the title of ‘Christian’ also tend to give off an ‘above you’ sort of vibe. I’m in this community and they make me feel like crap too. But let me assure you, that’s not our purpose. Our purpose is to worship God and love those around us. But that doesn’t always happen and that sucks but we’re still human so we’re going to screw up.
I also grew up in a Christian home. I went to church every Sunday and Wednesday and was on all the weekend retreats and I was pretty much there when the doors were open. I don’t regret that in the least, so please don’t think that. But I don’t like that once I outgrew the children’s department, I feel like I was essentially being trained to be a wife. It wasn’t an outright how-to guide or anything, but dating and marriage were an almost constant discussion.
Now, to be fair, on my corner of the earth, people often graduate from high school, go to college, get engaged their senior year of college, and get married pretty quickly after graduation. And that’s the slow track…
For people like me, it’s a very different world. I’m 22 and I’ve never been in a relationship and for a very long time I felt incomplete because of it. The thing is, there’s nothing wrong with or missing from me. But it took almost 22 years to believe that. The society that I was raised in dictated that women belonged with men and women that weren’t with men were crazy or ugly or undesirable.
That’s stupid. A woman is not inherently undesirable just because of her single lifestyle, her looks, or anything else.
Some of us are just meant to be single, at least for a while.
Except no one mentioned that in our weekly discussions about being the best possible wife at Sunday School. No one taught me how to be single or that there was nothing wrong with being single. I had to figure it out on my own and when you come from a background like mine, it’s not an easy lesson to learn.
So this is me telling anyone who will listen, it’s okay to be single. There’s nothing wrong with you.
I went back to church today after a 2 year hiatus and it felt great. And I think a lot of that had to do with the fact that I’ve come to accept that I’m single and that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with me and my life is pretty awesome.
If this didn’t make any sense, I’m sorry. I just had a lot of things swarming in my head after church and I figured I’d write about a few of them.