There Will Always Be Jerks


This is a real conversation I experienced this week at work during a segment on why smarter women appear to be not having children.

Me: Hey sir, I’m sorry but this segment is over and we will probably be moving on in the next segment. I’m sorry we kept you on hold for so long, but feel free to call in during a phone troll okay?

Caller: Oh well I’m headed to work, but I’ll just tell you my theory.

Me: Alrighty. I’m all ears.

Caller: The reason smart women aren’t having kids is because they’re so damn ugly. The smart ones are uglier than a box of rocks and no one wants to get with ’em. The dumb ones are always pretty.

Me: Well… I appreciate┬áthat sir.

Caller: Not all the time, but you have to admit that it’s true most of the time.

Me: No. No I don’t. *click*

Now there are so many things wrong with this. Like, just thinking about it makes me visibly angry.

First of all, this man was calling in this theory because he wanted to get a laugh. And had he made it on air, he probably would have. The guys would have tap-danced their way around it, but their initial reaction would have probably been hysterical laughter. This makes me angry because it turns women into a joke. I am not a punchline. I am a human being with real emotions and real thoughts about what this guy can do with his punchline.

Furthermore, I’m angered because had I been able to weigh in on this topic, according to him, I would simply prove his point. Technically, I could be considered one of those smart women. I don’t have strong maternal desires. As a matter of fact, kids weird me out. And according to most members of the opposite gender that are attracted to women, I am not attractive. I am not the picture that comes to mind when guys think of who they want to ‘get with.’

Now let me clarify, I can see the beauty in myself. It’s not purely surface beauty either. However, I do have the ability to feel pretty, beautiful, and even sexy from time to time. But others see my size and make a judgement. That judgement is generally that I am unattractive.

In addition, I’m enraged that I live in a state, country, and world where comments like this seem to be acceptable. Homeboy knew he was speaking to a woman and he still thought this was an appropriate comment to make. Not just that, but he wanted to make that comment to an audience of something like 3 million people. Now, you can tell me I’m being too sensitive and that I need to calm the eff down but at the end of the day, people view me as a punchline and that’s not okay.

So screw you Thursday caller. And I hope you step in dog crap while you’re barefoot. I also hope your tv goes out the weekend college football kicks off.

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